I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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