Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
