meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
