Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
BRING THE BAGELS
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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