i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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