Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hippo gnu deer
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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