it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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