I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
