would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
