I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
