If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
