It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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