Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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