If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
