My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
