Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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