I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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