i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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