I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
