she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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