is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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