We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
