My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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