Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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