using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
