dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
