yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
