yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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