These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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