the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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