This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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