R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You need Xanax blowdarts
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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