Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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