Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
