elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize