Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
