dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
