Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Terrible idea I love it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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