Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
