there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You don't make any sense
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