Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
