terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
