God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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