Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize