at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
