I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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