This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
