if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I did not marry a roomba.
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