You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
