is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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