There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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