I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
