ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
