is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
