I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
