come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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