How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
